How to Win Friends & Influence People | PDF Book Summary | By Dale Carnegie


how to win friends and influence people outline

Jan 13,  · "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is one of the most popular self-improvement books ever written. Over 15 million copies sold and to this day people swear by the book. Today I present to you the a How to Win Friends and Influence People summary. These are cliffnotes for each chapter within the best seller. The most successful leaders all have one thing in common: They've read How to Win Friends and Influence People. As a salesman at one point in his life, author Dale Carnegie made his sales territory the national leader for the firm he worked for. How to Win Friends and Influence People is a self-help book written by Dale Carnegie, published in Over 15 million copies have been sold worldwide, making it one of the best-selling books of all time. In , it was number 19 on Time Magazine ' s list of the most influential Dale Carnegie.

Summary of How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie says that appreciation leverages one of the most difficult needs for people to meet: the need to feel important — check Tony Robbins 6 human needs. Carnegie says that also flattery, how to win friends and influence people outline, such as fake appreciation, might also work.

Instead, always make your appreciation sincere. My Note: Later social experiments showed how flattery, even when people suspect second motives, is still effective.

Every man you meet is superior to you in something. And you can learn from him. And then you can present your wants and needs in a way that will satisfy their wants and needs. Dale Carnegie says that the only way to make solid and lasting relationships is to be genuinely interested in them. You make more friends in two months by being interested in them, than in two years making them interested in you.

My note: Schaefer in The Like Switch recommends you also flash your eyebrows upwards, which is an unconscious indicator of liking and acceptance. Carnegie says that our actions influence our feelings as much as our feelings influence our actions. His name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language. The most important element of being a good conversationalist is being a good listener, how to win friends and influence people outline.

And to become a good listener, the number one rule is to care. To become a great listener: care about the speaker. To make others feel important Carnegie recommends you ask yourself what is it about them that you admire. Once you know what you admire about them, it will reflect in your demeanor and you can also tell them about your admiration. If you lose, you lose, and if you win, the other will feel resentful and you still lose.

The only way to win an argument is by avoiding it. My note: Another great advantage of admitting fault is that it shows a strength of character. Most people shift blame, and those who take full ownership set themselves apart. I particularly loved the answer from Elbert Hubbard that Carnegie used as an example. Not everything I wrote yesterday appeals to me today. I am glad to learn what you think on the subject. Begin in a friendly way instead and you will immensely lower his guard, lower the tension and dramatically increase the chances of a resolution.

And he will immediately place himself in a more positive and conducive mental disposition. If you want cooperation let people feel it was their own idea. He tells the story of a customer who was stumped among different choices -of course, see The Paradox of Choice.

Instead of pitching the products the salesman asked the person what kind of product he would select best. As he described the product, the prospect came to his own conclusions as to what he should buy.

And he happily bought: it was his own idea. But the world is rarely, if ever, so cut and dry. And one of the biggest secrets to doing well with people is always to see the situation from their point of view as well. Not to simply understand their opinion, but why they are even having those opinions in the first place. Instead of giving them the battle they expect, he suggests one sentence that will put to rest any argument I paraphrase :.

If I were you, I would feel the exact same way. Dale Carnegie says that when you appeal to nobler motives, you will make people want to rise up to the noble trait that you bestow upon them. When nothing else works, Dale Carnegie recommends you make it a challenge so that people want to win as if it were a game.

Dale Carnegie says that if you must criticize someone, first find something good they have done and begin with that. And it how to win friends and influence people outline the most when done publicly. And well, sometimes you also need to defend their ego.

When we can share the blame, blame hurts less. And when we make ourselves imperfect, we are more likely to be accepted. Dale Carnegie says that nobody likes to take orders: it makes us feel subordinate and less important. So give suggestions instead of orders. People will resent if we hurt their ego or insult their skills, especially if publicly. For example : General Electric had a brilliant engineer who was doing very poorly as a department head.

Demoting was likely going to be very costly to his ego. So the company instead gave him a big title and moved him somewhere else in a way that if felt he was being promoted. Check this article for an example on saving face or this video:. My note: Carnegie is basically suggesting here to use positive reinforcement in what in psychology is known as operant conditioning. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise. When you give people a good reputation the tendency is to act in accordance with that reputation.

Identity drives behaviorso when people start liking and believing in a new identity, they will act accordingly, how to win friends and influence people outline.

If a task seems too big or if people feel like they are far too unskilled to accomplish it, they will lose heart and fail to act. Encourage them instead, build up their ego. And make the effort seem within their grasp.

Then they will be motivated to act. It could indeed be easily summarized as saying that all previous principles apply to your relationship as well. The most interesting for me were:. Appreciate More Most of us would do great in remembering this very simple advise: appreciate, compliment and encourage more. Even if it might hurt them at the beginning, they want people who can tell it as how to win friends and influence people outline is.

As Ray Dalio says, for top achievement you must love the truth even it hurts. I encourage you to take care of what you build your self esteem around. Read my article on how to build an antifragile ego. Make sure you use these techniques because you care about people or because you want to achieve certain results. Get the book Check the best books on influence and persuasion or learn how to make friends and get this timeless book on Amazon.

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Summary: How to Win Friends & Influence People


how to win friends and influence people outline


Everyone, and I mean everyone can learn something from How to Win Friends & Influence People. The principles in the book are simple, but something a lot of us fail to use or remember. This book will help you to convince people to your way of thinking, avoid arguments and become more liked. If you're. The most successful leaders all have one thing in common: They've read How to Win Friends and Influence People. As a salesman at one point in his life, author Dale Carnegie made his sales territory the national leader for the firm he worked for. This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of .